I dreamt of goodbye

It's funny how you can accomplish things in your dreams, things that don't make much sense, and still have a feeling of resolution when you wake. It's like you had some sort of intense conflict going on in your mind, and you just refused to acknowledge it for so long that it's got to come out some way. So it comes out in a crazy dream, and you and your many selves just battle it out. And you wake up suddenly because a weight has been lifted.

We were on top of a mountain. I had climbed up the mountain via a tiny rickety wooden bridge, so unstable I had to crawl on my hands and knees the whole way. I had my camera strapped to my back. It was windy, and when the wind blew the whole bridge swayed back and forth. And at the top of this bridge and mountain were all my friends. People I've met on this journey, but mostly friends from Hamilton or The Hill School. And so once at the top of the mountain, we were celebrating graduation. One of my friends grabbed my camera and almost threw it off the mountain. I tackled him and stood on his arms. I yelled at him. I revealed every insecurity he had. I told him I was tired of him trying to ruin everything, and that he needed to stop trying to outsmart me because it would never work. I held a mirror in his face and he began to cry. Then he disappeared. Two more of my friends approached me. One took a 20 dollar bill out of his wallet. It was American. The other friend said "Does that make you homesick? It's been nearly 6 months" I took the bill in my hand and looked at it. I felt homesick. I turned to the second friend and said "I need to go to Verona. I have to get my things together" we hugged and I walked down the bridge, this time standing up.

Then I woke up. And when I woke up, I had a poem stuck in my head.

Don't ask me what it means. I don't have a clue. I think it has to do with my acknowledgement that it's time to move on to the next stop on my list. So I leave for Auckland on the 22nd, and i'll return to sydney just briefly for the Night Words Festival and then, as i said in my dream, I'll take a break in Italy for a few days before my crazy european schedule starts.

So it was a strong dream to have and I've spent all day thinking about it. But whatever was resolved, I'm happy it was resolved. Such a strange journey I'm on!

Last night
I dreamt of goodbye
suddenly deciding it was time
to write you out of my life.
Goodbye, perhaps I'll
send you a postcard while
watching the fireflies in
springtime Verona. I'm
sorry because it won't say
I wish you were here.